Zantac is Crack

Today the Ministry went on a special trip to the Doctor. Turns out the burning sensation in her belly that's been hanging around for a month is actually some kind of "acid reflux" or "ulcer." How's that to make a girl feel sexy? So now, I get to trade in my daily regime of coffee and cigarettes for Zantac. Christ.

Help.

And tomorrow I go to the dentist. What next. A "root canal"?