Thursday, May 06, 2004

Atonement

I study depressing ass shit. How's this for a paper title: "Graham Greene's The End of the Affair, Kazuo Ishiguro's A Pale View of Hills, and other Depressing Ass Shit."

or "Lying, Morality, Ethics, and More Reasons to Think about Depressing Ass Shit."

Think about this:

"The guilt of life which purely as a fact will strangle other life, according to statistics that eke out an overwhelming number of killed with a minimal number of rescued, as if this were provided in the theory of probabilities--this guilt is irreconcilable with living. And guilt does not cease to reproduce itself, because not for an instant can it be made fully, presently conscious."

"If thought is not measured by the extremity that eludes the concept, it is from the outset in the nature of the musical accompaniment with which the SS liked to drown the screams of its victims"

Genocide makes you think strange things about the world. You can never think about music the same way, and you can never look at people around you and not think that they are not perfectly capable of being brainwashed into killing millions of innocents. That is the guilt of the living. Every atrocity committed stands as testimony to the fact that intentionality and trying to understand "why" seems a fruitless and inadequate question. The world's indifference is murderous.

If you would like to read more about this, pick up some Adorno and discover how cruel the world really is. The small injustices we endure on a daily basis somehow fail to evoke any meaning, for the fact of the matter is, for some god awful reason, we're alive.

Speaking of brainwashing and committing atrocities: American soldiers torturing Iraqi prisoners. Way to go you Assholes. They took trophy photos, mementos of a sick pleasure in power over others. And at least one soldier was a woman--truly this inverts every feminist advance we've seen in the last 20 years. Wonder where these soldiers might have developed their technique? Some are corrections officers back home--they've had lots of time to hone their methods of humiliation and perversion on inmates. We are losing the war of ideas, the world has seen what America trains its soldiers, no, its people, to do.

What can we do? There are people torturing in my name. No fucking way, I'm going to keep on thinking about depressing ass shit until I've atoned for it. This is not punishment for living, it is merely the way we have to live.

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