I Hate This

I realize there's nothing more self-involved and irritating than to complain about graduate school, and that most people are of the mind that people in grad school are ill-equipped social pariahs with no capacity for holding a job, and that rather than bitch about it one should shut the fuck up and develop some real problems, well, to those people I apologize, myself being one who has often thought all of these things. But the fact remains that I chose this particular path (and I do and have worked "out there" dammit, I just thought it really really sucked), and presently, it is irritating the piss out of me, but mainly because I have made the mistake of trying to study real world problems thinking that somehow this would sate my ire. I am desperately wrong and yet cannot convince myself that there is anything else worth thinking about for an excessive amount of time. As an aside, everytime I think I have come up with a working dissertation idea I literally in the next 6 hours read something by someone with a whole lot of intellectual clout slash reputation slash fame if you will who has already wrote the whole fucking book on it. So much for "original contribution to the field of scholarship." Anyways, I feel about this big right now. But you can't see my thumb and index finger indicating the size of my immense smallness. Imagine it. very small indeed.